Teaching Kids to Breathe: Using Shapes and Visuals to Cope with Big Emotions
If you’ve ever told your child to “just take a deep breath” in the middle of a meltdown and been met with frustration (or more tears), you’re not alone. Many parents know that breathing is a powerful tool for calming down, but getting kids to actually use it when they’re upset can feel impossible.
The truth is, kids need to practice breathing when they’re calm before they can use it when they’re overwhelmed. And one of the best ways to teach this skill? Using visuals!
Why Deep Breathing Helps Kids Regulate Emotions
When kids experience big emotions like anxiety, frustration, or anger, their nervous system goes into fight-or-flight mode. This can make their breathing shallow and fast, increasing their feelings of stress.
Deep, intentional breathing helps by:
Slowing the heart rate
Sending signals to the brain that it’s safe to calm down
Giving kids a moment to pause before reacting
But here’s the challenge—when kids are dysregulated, it’s hard for them to remember what to do. That’s why visuals and hands-on strategies can make all the difference.
Using Shapes to Teach Breathing
Kids are visual learners, and pairing breathing with shapes gives them something tangible to follow. Instead of just saying “breathe in, breathe out”, try using one of these simple shape breathing techniques:
🌟 Square Breathing – Imagine drawing a square with your finger:
➡️ Inhale for 4 seconds as you trace one side
➡️ Hold for 4 seconds on the next side
➡️ Exhale for 4 seconds on the third side
➡️ Hold for 4 seconds on the last side
🎈 Balloon Breathing – Have your child pretend to blow up an imaginary balloon:
➡️ Inhale deeply through the nose
➡️ Exhale slowly through the mouth, “blowing up” the balloon
➡️ Repeat, making the balloon “bigger” each time
🌊 Wave Breathing – Pretend to draw ocean waves in the air:
➡️ Breathe in as you move your finger up a wave
➡️ Breathe out as you move your finger down
➡️ Keep going until the waves feel calm and steady
When kids have a visual guide, it’s easier for them to stay focused and practice deep breathing in a fun, engaging way.
When to Teach Breathing Skills
A common mistake parents make is only introducing deep breathing when their child is already upset. But when kids are overwhelmed, they’re in survival mode—they can’t easily access new skills in that moment.
Instead, practice these techniques when your child is calm and regulated, so their brain can absorb and remember them. Try practicing:
Before bed as part of a relaxing nighttime routine
During a quiet moment in the morning
Before starting homework or a new activity
After physical play to help transition to a calmer state
The more your child practices breathing when they don’t need it, the more likely they’ll be able to use it when they do need it.
How to Introduce Breathing to Your Child
Here’s a simple parenting script to introduce breathing techniques to your child:
🗣 “Sometimes, when we feel upset, our breathing gets fast and our body feels tight. But guess what? We can actually use our breath to help our body calm down! I’m going to show you a fun way to practice. Let’s pretend we’re blowing up a balloon. Ready? Take a big breath in… now blow out slowly to fill the balloon!”
Keep it light and playful, and avoid introducing breathing in the heat of the moment. Instead, focus on making it a fun and regular part of your child’s day.
Final Thoughts
Breathing is one of the most powerful self-regulation tools kids can learn—but they need practice and visual guides to make it work for them.
📌 Want to make breathing even easier for your child? Download my free Shape Breathing Posters to use at home! These printable visuals give kids a simple, engaging way to practice deep breathing.
