The Stoplight Method – Stop, Think, Act
Big emotions leading to big reactions? Teach your child the Stoplight Method to pause and think!
Emotions can sometimes feel like a speeding car, rushing out of control. Whether it’s frustration, anger, or excitement, kids can often act before thinking. If you’ve ever found yourself in a moment where your child’s emotions escalate quickly, you’re not alone. The Stoplight Method is an easy-to-understand and effective technique that helps children pause and think before reacting. Let’s dive into how this simple strategy can make a big difference.
What is the Stoplight Method?
The Stoplight Method is a visual and structured way to help kids manage their emotions. Much like a traffic light guides drivers, the Stoplight Method teaches kids when to stop, think, and act in moments of emotional intensity. The method consists of three clear steps:
Red Light: Stop and Notice the Emotion
The first step is to recognize the emotion. When your child feels their emotions bubbling up—whether it’s anger, anxiety, or frustration—help them stop for a moment and check in with how they feel. The goal here is to create space between feeling and reacting. A simple phrase like, “Stop and think about how you’re feeling” can remind them to pause.
Yellow Light: Think About Possible Solutions or Calming Strategies
The second step is about taking a deep breath and thinking before acting. What can they do to feel better? This is where you can introduce calming techniques like deep breathing, counting to ten, or using a sensory tool. Encourage your child to ask themselves, “What can I do to calm down?”
Green Light: Act in a Way That Helps Solve the Problem
Once your child has stopped and thought through their options, it’s time to act. This step is about making a choice that will help them express their emotions in a calm, thoughtful way. Whether it’s talking about what’s bothering them or using a coping skill, the key is for them to make a conscious decision on how to respond. This helps them feel more in control of their emotions, rather than being controlled by them.
How to Use the Stoplight Method at Home
Create a Visual Reminder:
A stoplight image can be a great way for kids to visually understand the process. Put it somewhere in your home—on the fridge, near their desk, or in their room—so they can reference it when emotions are running high. Get your free visual here:
Practice Together:
The Stoplight Method works best when practiced regularly. Role-play different scenarios with your child and walk them through each step of the process. For example, “Let’s pretend you’re feeling mad because someone took your toy. What would you do for a red light? Yellow light? Green light?”
Encourage Reflection:
After your child has used the Stoplight Method, ask them to reflect on how it helped. Did it calm them down? Did it help them solve a problem? This encourages self-awareness and reinforces positive emotional regulation.
Why It Works
The Stoplight Method is effective because it helps kids slow down their automatic reactions. By giving them clear steps to follow, they can better understand their emotions and gain control over them. It also provides a structured approach for parents to support their children when things get overwhelming.
By teaching your child to pause, think, and act, you’re giving them the skills they need to manage big emotions and handle tricky situations with confidence. And the best part? You’re helping them develop a valuable life skill that will benefit them in many areas of life, not just in moments of emotional overwhelm.
