Helping Your Child Become an Active Listener: 5 Essential Skills Every Parent Should Teach

As parents, we’ve all been there—trying to talk to our kids, only to feel like they’re not really listening. Whether it’s missing out on instructions at school or struggling to connect with friends, kids who aren’t active listeners often face challenges both socially and academically. But the good news is that active listening is a skill that can be taught and developed, setting your child up for success in every aspect of their life.

The Power of Active Listening

Active listening isn’t just about hearing words—it’s about truly understanding and engaging with what’s being said. When kids become active listeners, they improve their communication skills, build stronger relationships, and enhance their ability to focus and follow directions. Let’s dive into five essential active listening skills you can start teaching your child today:

1. Eye Contact

Encouraging your child to make eye contact when someone is speaking helps them stay focused and shows the other person they are engaged. Eye contact builds connection and is a key component of effective communication.

• Tip for Parents: Model this behavior by making eye contact with your child during conversations. Gently remind them to look at the person speaking by saying, “Let’s make sure we’re looking at each other so we can understand better.”

2. Body Language

Body language speaks volumes! Teach your child that how they position their body—facing the speaker, nodding in agreement, and maintaining a calm posture—conveys interest and attentiveness.

• Tip for Parents: Encourage your child to mirror positive body language. For example, you might say, “When you face your friend and nod while they talk, it shows them you care about what they’re saying.”

3. Paraphrasing

Paraphrasing is when your child repeats what they’ve heard in their own words. This skill not only helps them process information but also confirms to the speaker that they’ve been understood.

• Tip for Parents: Practice this skill by saying, “Can you tell me what you just heard in your own words?” This helps reinforce the message and ensures your child is actively listening.

4. Asking Questions

Encourage your child to ask questions if they don’t understand something or want to learn more. This shows they are engaged and interested in the conversation.

• Tip for Parents: You can prompt this by saying, “If you’re not sure about something, it’s okay to ask questions. That shows you’re really paying attention.”

5. Summarizing

Summarizing involves briefly repeating the main points of what the speaker said. This helps your child focus on key details and ensures they’ve grasped the conversation’s essence.

• Tip for Parents: Teach this by saying, “Before we finish, can you summarize what we just talked about?” It’s a great way to wrap up conversations and reinforce understanding.

Parenting Script: Introducing Active Listening to Your Child

Here’s a simple script you can use to introduce the concept of active listening to your child and practice these skills together:

Parent: “I’ve noticed that sometimes when we talk, it feels like we’re not really listening to each other. Listening well is a superpower that helps us understand each other better and be better friends. Let’s practice some cool listening tricks!”

1. Eye Contact: “First, let’s try looking at each other when we talk. This helps us stay connected.”

2. Body Language: “Next, let’s use our body language—like facing each other and nodding—to show we’re listening.”

3. Paraphrasing: “After someone says something, you can repeat it in your own words to make sure you understood. For example, if I say, ‘We’re going to the park,’ you could say, ‘So we’re going to the park?’”

4. Asking Questions: “If something isn’t clear, it’s okay to ask a question. Like, ‘What time are we going?’”

5. Summarizing: “And finally, you can summarize what we talked about at the end. Like, ‘So we’re going to the park after lunch to play on the swings.’”

Empowering Your Child with Communication Skills

Active listening is just one of many communication skills that can make a huge difference in your child’s life. When they learn to listen well, they’re not just improving their social skills—they’re also setting themselves up for success in school and beyond.

Visuals to Help your Child Learn

Free Resources for Kids

Download this resource as a visual to help kids identify and practice using their body to actively listen to other people.

Active listening is one of the most vital skills your child can learn when it comes to building strong, lasting friendships. As a parent, you might worry when you see your child struggle to connect with others, unsure of how to communicate effectively or maintain those friendships over time. This can be frustrating and even heartbreaking, especially when you know they have so much to offer. My Friendship Course for Kids is designed to help your child not only make new friends but also develop the communication skills necessary to keep those friendships strong. Enroll today, and give your child the tools they need to thrive socially and build relationships that will last a lifetime.